The waves splashed on the shore. I closed my eyes and listened to the water as it rushed up to touch my feet. I wanted to stay here in this place, to bask in the sun and solace this place offered me. It was time to go though. I knew it, but I dreaded and feared it all at the same time. The waves were increasing with speed and intensity but the coldness of the water made me feel refreshed and alive. Alive; something I hadn’t felt in a long time. I wanted to feel this way every day, but I couldn’t. So many things had happened, so much had changed since I had last been here. There was a time when I was free, when the chains that tied me down now did not bind me. I wanted to go back to that time but I couldn’t. Sometimes life takes you in places you don’t want to go and there is nothing you can do to stop it. All you can do is hold on tightly and cling to the little you have left in life. For me, it was this place, this water rushing over my feet and waves cleansing me bringing healing even if in small amounts.
It was the morning light shining through the trees on a walk through the woods, a flower just barely starting to open in early spring. These were things that kept me going, gave me hope and left me knowing deep down that somehow, someday it would be ok. Until then, I come here on the worst of days, I sit, I close my eyes and I breath, knowing here I am safe, here I am free. Perhaps someday I will break free of these chains but until that day I hold on to this moment, this place, and this time.