Exposition Rewrite

Writing Prompt:

Choose one of the ways to write exposition and start writing.  Then rewrite the passage, using a different way to use exposition. 

Original Post: Exposition – My A-muse-ing Life (myamuseinglife.com)

Dialogue:

“Mio, look! There are at least half a dozen of them.”

“Wow! This was worth the wait for sure. We don’t have much light left. I’m glad we found them now, Darcy. Cameron’s not going to believe this.”

“I know! They’re so loud too! I’m torn between wanting to plug my ears, and just wanting to listen to the beautiful sound the cranes make. Do you think we could record it?”

“Yeah, sure. Let me grab my camera.” Fumbling around in his bag, Mio found his camera and began to take video. “Cameron’s going to love this footage!”

“He will. But I don’t think he’s going to like the fact that we saw his birds, and he didn’t. Maybe he can come back to Higgins Lake with us tomorrow?”

“Yeah, maybe so.”

Narrate the character’s thoughts:

Mio stared out over the open field, watching as the giant birds flapped their wings and rattled their evening song. He was tired. They’d searched for hours and he’d been ready to give up, but now they’d finally found them.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Mio turned to his friend Darcy. She was telling him there a half dozen birds, and he had to agree. It was incredible! They were running out of daylight, that much he knew.

He kept thinking about their friend Cameron. Cameron wanted so badly to find the sandhill cranes, and couldn’t. He was going to be so jealous of them.

Darcy drew his thoughts back to the present moment. She was asking him if they could video. He nodded and grabbed his camera from his back. Their friend Cameron was going to love the footage, that much he knew. Still though, they had to bring him back to Higgins Lake to see the birds for himself. Seeing it on video would never be as incredible as seeing it in person.