365 Prompts- Day 5

From the book, “Just Write One Thing Today; 365 Creative Prompts to Inspire You Every Day” by John Gillard

 

Expanding Nouns

Write a short passage describing a walk around an antique shop, museum, or old period house.  Once you have finished, pick out four or five nouns and verbs and replace them with words that have an alternative meaning but which read cohesively to create something new and potentially unexpected: “We walked to the reception” might become “We triumphed to the reception.”  

Old House
From: https://www.flickr.com/photos/dottiemae/5227952652/

 

Original:

When we arrived at the old house, I couldn’t help but notice how run down it was.  The paint was chipping off, the gutters were cracked with one laying on the ground, and the shutters hung loosely next to the window.  Once, this house must have been a beautiful mansion, but now it was a dump.  I wondered how long his grandmother had lived here, and whether or not it would be better for us to convince her to leave.

The porch was broken, and I hesitated before I climbed the steps.  They creaked with every step I took, and I wondered if they would break as I stepped.  Lenny didn’t seem to notice.  I wondered if he was just used to all the brokenness and didn’t notice just how bad it really was.  I took another step, and the board snapped beneath my foot.  I was relieved to have my other foot on a step, and my hand on the rough railing since it kept me from falling.  The snap of the board stung, and I hurried up the stairs to avoid more boards breaking.

“You ready?”  He looked at me and smiled as he quickly crossed the few unbroken boards on the porch and tapped on the front door.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”  If his mother was in the same shape as this house, I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into.  Still, he’d been begging me to meet his mother for months and I couldn’t keep putting him off.  He smiled and tapped the door again.

The handle on the door turned, but it didn’t open right away.  It seemed loose, and I wondered if it was just as broken as the rest of the place.  When it finally opened, an old woman stood before us, in sharp contrast to the house around her.  She was dressed in a sparkly green dress, with emerald earrings and a bobbed haircut.  She had on red lipstick and wore a fancy hat with feathers on top of her head.  She smiled like lilacs and appeared to be in excellent health.  I had to wonder what she was still doing here.

 

Edits:

When we arrived made it to the old house homestead, I couldn’t help but notice how run down it was.  The paint was chipping off, the gutters were cracked with one laying on the ground, and the shutters hung loosely next to the window.  Once, this house must have been a beautiful mansion, but now it was a dump.  I wondered how long his grandmother had lived here, and whether or not it would be better for us to convince her to leave.

The porch deck was broken busted, and I hesitated before I climbed the steps.  They creaked with every step I took, and I wondered if they would break as I stepped.  Lenny didn’t seem to notice.  I wondered if he was just used to all the brokenness and didn’t notice just how bad it really was.  I took another step, and the board snapped gave way beneath my leg foot.  I was relieved to have my other foot on a step, and my hand on the rough railing since it kept me from falling.  The snap of the board stung, and I hurried up the stairs to avoid more boards breaking.

“You ready?”  He looked at me and smiled as he quickly crossed traversed the few unbroken boards on the porch and tapped on the front entrance door.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”  If his mother was in the same shape as this house, I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into.  Still, he’d been begging me to meet his mother for months and I couldn’t keep putting him off.  He smiled and tapped the door again.

The handle on the door turned, but it didn’t open right away.  It seemed loose, and I wondered if it was just as broken as the rest of the place.  When it finally opened, an old woman stood before us, in sharp contrast to the house around her.  She was dressed in a sparkly green dress, with emerald earrings and a bobbed haircut.  She had on red lipstick and wore a fancy hat bonnet with feathers on top of her head.  She smelled had a scent like lilacs and appeared to be in excellent health.  I had to wonder what she was still doing here.

Changed:

When we made it to the old homestead, I couldn’t help but notice how run down it was.  The paint was chipping off, the gutters were cracked with one laying on the ground, and the shutters hung loosely next to the window.  Once, this house must have been a beautiful mansion, but now it was a dump.  I wondered how long his grandmother had lived here, and whether or not it would be better for us to convince her to leave.

The deck was busted, and I hesitated before I climbed the steps.  They creaked with every step I took, and I wondered if they would break as I stepped.  Lenny didn’t seem to notice.  I wondered if he was just used to all the brokenness and didn’t notice just how bad it really was.  I took another step, and the board gave way beneath my leg.  I was relieved to have my other foot on a step, and my hand on the rough railing since it kept me from falling.  The snap of the board stung, and I hurried up the stairs to avoid more boards breaking.

“You ready?”  He looked at me and smiled as he quickly traversed the few unbroken boards on the porch and tapped on the front entrance.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”  If his mother was in the same shape as this house, I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into.  Still, he’d been begging me to meet his mother for months and I couldn’t keep putting him off.  He smiled and tapped the door again.

The handle on the door turned, but it didn’t open right away.  It seemed loose, and I wondered if it was just as broken as the rest of the place.  When it finally opened, an old woman stood before us, in sharp contrast to the house around her.  She was dressed in a sparkly green dress, with emerald earrings and a bobbed haircut.  She had on red lipstick and wore a fancy bonnet with feathers on top of her head.  She had a scent like lilacs and appeared to be in excellent health.  I had to wonder what she was still doing here.

365 Prompts Day 4

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